


Coffee and sexuality

by Sassy_Cage



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: AU where Simmons is a movie reviewer, Coffee Shops, M/M, so there's that, talking about sex in coffee shops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 07:03:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4777991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassy_Cage/pseuds/Sassy_Cage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So,<br/>Simmons review movies.<br/>Grif is a little shit.<br/>They just met.<br/>Sex talks in coffee shops.<br/>Spit takes with coffee.<br/>What more could you want though?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I may write a chapter 2 if requested.

“So, your name?”  
“Dick Simmons. You?”  
“Dexter Grif. What are you working on?”  
“A review.”  
“On what?”  
“A movie”  
“Which one?”  
“I don’t have to tell you. Now, you’re just being nosy.”  
“Am not. Just...Trying to start conversation.”  
“Sit down.”  
“What?”  
“Just do it.”  
Dexter sits down.  
“So, who are you?”  
Dexter leans in.  
“I’m a secret agent on a secret mission to find someone to be my boyfriend…”  
Dick looks surprised.  
Dexter leans closer.  
“...And then kill them.”  
Dexter leans back and laughs. His hair is cut short in back,cut short in front as well. Dirty blonde. His hair looks bristly but Dick still wants to pet it. Eyes are a very beautiful shade of a dark-ish orange.  
“I’m joking of course. No, I just came here to get coffee or something, maybe to bother my barista friend who works here. The attractive man thing was a coincidence.”  
Dick blushes as Dexter winks.  
“O-oh...Which barista is it?”  
Dexter points at a man with blonde hair,reaching the top of his ears,with bangs that swoop down over his forehead. His eyes are pink and there are a few streaks in his hair of the same color.  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. His name’s Franklin Delano Donut but he goes mostly by Donut to make things ‘easier’ for himself.”  
“Hm. Interesting.”  
“So uh… Which way do you swing?”  
Dick looks surprised.  
“Um…”  
“No reason you should have to answer that. Kinda personal. I just like to calculate my chances.”  
Dick smirks.  
“Your way. And your chances are about...91.7 percent. 99.1 percent if you play your cards right.”  
Dexter is really surprised. He hadn’t expected the other man to answer,let alone flirt back.  
Oh,it is on.  
“My chances on getting you into bed?”  
“99.6. 99.9 if you’re smart. Get creative.”  
Dick knew it was on and he was gonna win.  
“Chance of both.”  
“Bed then relationship? 99.8.”  
“Damn, high chance.”  
“You’re attractive, your personality is amazing…”  
Dick shrugs.  
“Don’t see why not.”  
“Mmm, I like smart boys.”  
“I’m your guy then.”  
“You a top or a bottom?”  
There it was. Dick was almost sure he was going to lose. He was blushing and he was so flustered he couldn’t come up with something to say. He calms down a bit, remembering that Dexter may just be messing with him.  
He was gonna win this one. No matter what.  
Dick leans a bit across the table.  
“Whatever you want me to be.”  
Now it’s Dexter’s turn to blush. But he’s not giving up.  
Not yet.  
“I’d say I’m more of a top and using your answer as evidence I’d say you’re the opposite.”  
“Great deduction Sherlock. How did you figure that out?”  
“When you say ‘whatever you want me to be’ it means your submissive enough to let someone control you...To an extent, of course.”  
Dick’s blushing. Hard. Hard enough where he thinks he’s not gonna be able to go on.  
Then it hits him.  
“What are you planning to do?”  
Dexter is blushing harder than Dick is and he’s obviously covering something up.  
“You win.”  
Dick leans back and folds his arms over his chest.  
“That’s what I thought. Never start an awkward contest with me. I don’t get uncomfortable.”  
Dexter looks at him skeptically. He brings his hand to Dick’s cheek and lets Dick nuzzle into it a bit. He then moves it to his neck and softly runs his fingertips over it. Dick gasps and moans a bit, getting obviously flustered.  
“Don’t get uncomfortable my ass.”  
“Shut up.”  
“Wait dude…”  
Dexter nods to the cup of coffee next to Dick.  
“Is that black coffee?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Dude, what’s wrong with you.”  
“I’d say the same.”  
“You don’t even know what’s in mine!”  
“How about we sip each others.”  
“Sounds fair.”  
The hand each other their coffees and as soon as they get a sip they do a spit take into a napkin.  
“Dude, why is it so sweet?!”  
“Why is yours so bitter?!”  
“You’re crazy!”  
Then they both laugh.  
“Are we really doing this?”  
“Yeah.”  
“This, believe it or not, is the first conversation I’ve ever had about coffee.”  
“Seriously? I don’t believe it.”  
“You better, cause it’s true. Everyone has basically agreed with me for my whole life.”  
Dexter laughs.  
“So that’s what made you such a little bitch.”  
Dick gasps.  
Dexter laughs.  
“No one’s ever called you that?”  
Dick blushes and shakes his head.  
“Maybe once or twice in certain…situations.”  
Dexter leans forward a bit.  
“Whatever you’re into dude.”  
Dick blushes deeper.  
“Hm. Anything? No matter how weird?”  
Dexter raises an eyebrow.  
“How weird are we talking?”  
Dick looks down and takes a quick sip of his coffee.  
“Dirty talk. Praise. Bondage maybe. I don’t know fully but that is a few.”  
Dexter can hardly hear it but he does and he laughs.  
“That’s weird to you?”  
Dick looks up.  
“It...It isn’t to you?”  
Dexter laughs again.  
“Not at all…”  
He slips Dick his number.  
“We can exchange numbers and maybe go to dinner tonight. Sound good?”  
Dick quickly nods and writes down his number.  
“I’ll call you ASAP. Gotta talk to my sister first, make sure she’ll be cool with being alone.”  
“You have a sister?”  
Dexter smiles.  
“Can’t tell you too much now.”  
He winks and walks out.  
Dick isn’t gonna be finishing that article anytime soon.


	2. Chapter 2: The Awaited Squeakquel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally I got around to a Chapter 2!!

He awaits, looking at his watch.  
Slightly past the time they were supposed to meet.  
He runs a hand through his hair,looking down.  
He's not coming.  
He's about to leave when he hears someone yell his name.  
When he turns, it's exactly who he thought it was.  
"Dexter! You made it."  
"Yeah,sorry! My sister was being a buttface."  
Dick lets the other man catch his breath.  
"What are we doing?"  
"Walking."  
Dexter frowns.  
"I just ran at least a mile and I'm not okay with this."  
Dick rolls his eyes.  
"You had to ruin the mystery. We're only walking to the pier. There's a fair over there."  
Dexter lights up.  
"Really!?"  
Dick smiles.  
"Yes. I thought you'd like it. Since you're so childish and all."  
They start walking.  
"Screw you I am not childish."  
Dick looks at the other man skeptically.  
"You just called your sister a buttface."  
"Alright, fine, I may be a bit childish but that's not the point."  
Dick laughs.  
"Yes it is but whatever. What have you been up to?"  
"A lot of homework mostly. Classes and bitchy teachers."  
"So, the usual?"  
"Yes sir."  
"Nice. But same here. My teachers aren't too great either."  
"School in general sucks."  
"Amen, my dude."  
They walk up a small hill and step onto the pier.  
"What do you wanna do first?"  
"Whatever you want."  
"Games?"  
"Sure, but only one or two if that's alright."  
They go to a few different games and lose most except for one but all they got out of that one was a rubber duck.  
"Loser."  
Dexter is mock offended.  
"Loser #2 here is telling me I'M a loser."  
"Fuck off."  
"Butt."  
"Butt."  
They get some cotton candy,sit on a bench and talk about nothing and watch the sun set and the waves wash up on the beach.  
Dick checks his watch.  
"When do you have to be home?"  
"What, do you think my mom lives with me?"  
"Just a simple question."  
"12."  
"We have time for a ride."  
"Which ride takes the most time?"  
Dick smiles.  
"Ferris wheel."  
"That then."  
They have to stand in the line for a while but eventually they get into a carriage.  
As they go up, they're silent.  
At the top is the only time they speak.  
"It's beautiful up here. Thank you for taking me here tonight."  
Dick blushes.  
"N-No problem."  
Dexter looks Dick in the eyes.  
"C-Can I kiss you?"  
"Y-Yeah."  
Dexter leans over.  
It's pretty inexperienced however, they make it work.  
Dexter puts his arm around Dick and keeps it there the entire way down.  
They hold hands on the way back to Dick's car.  
"Do you want a ride home?"  
"Sure."  
They drive in silence, listening to 21 pilots and holding hands.  
When they get to his house, Dick walks Dexter up to the door and they kiss again, a bit better this time though.  
"Thank you. This was a perfect night."  
"Don't mention it."  
"I-I love you...Is that alright to say?"  
"I love you too. And yes, it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again,only another chapter if requested.
> 
> I finally Updated so I'm really sorry for taking so long!  
> I hope you like this sappy Grimmons mess.


End file.
